This Sam’s Club Republican
doesn’t own silk stockings and
wasn’t born with a silver spoon
in her mouth.
Dems who didn’t like her gave her a basket to catch water.
And so Callaloo Barbie was found
floating down a Florida canal
in a bamboo basket lined with plantain leaves–
Clutching in her tiny left hand
a primer explaining the fundamentals of
supply side fiscal policies,
and social conservatism.
Dems who didn’t like her made new rules when she mastered the old.
Speaking up would be as tough as her curls,
learning the code was a must.
Go forward and let nothing distract you
Onward towards the light
Plant your seeds in fertile ground.
Dems who didn’t like her whispered lies as she slept.
She learned to walk
in five-inch heels
on a center-right platform
suspended above
a slew of hungry gators.
Tall and strong,
She plays the game well
and to those she never liked–
a plate for their pepperpot soup.
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